I haven't had my share of sexual partners!

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NIKON D70 - 1/8000 sec, f5 at 50mm

Results from the 2005 Durex Global Sex Survey have been published on Scoop. Somewhat depressingly I find myself falling short in a number of key areas with regards to sex. I'm not going to bore you with too many of them but some of them are just downright unfair.

For a start, the average Kiwi has 13.2 sex partners in their lifetime. I WANT MY SHARE!!! I turn 38 next week and I'm seriously below average. In fact I'm so far behind, it's probably me that caused the .2 in the score. Which one of you bastards is taking the women I'm supposed to have had? Given the fact I'm too embarrassed to claim the first woman I knew (and I'm betting she is not claiming me too), I'm so far away from having my fair share that it's laughable.

Kiwis are second in the world for one night stands. 64% of New Zealanders have had a one night stand. Except me. I have never ever had a one night stand. I'm guessing it's just me and a huge pile of nerds and fat people, hobos, people with odd body hair and people that take buses everywhere that make up the other 36% that haven't had a one night, no strings attached, no questions asked, what's your name again, damn good one off hop on. What the hell is wrong with me? That's a rhetorical question by the way. I don't need you lot answering that.

Yes, another photo today similar to yesterdays. Gabba locked me out of the house and I had nothing to do for half an hour. So I was wandering around the yard putting things on the boot (trunk) lid in the sun and snapping away at them.

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Posted: Thursday, 10 November, 2005 16:29

Captured: 2005:11:09 16:37:24

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  • Mate, don't be embarrassed. Be happy you have Gabba, the love of your life! Dave, your blog makes me think, laugh and starts my day out well . . . thanks!
    Jody - Friday, 11 November, 2005 3:10
  • I took a quick scan of this survey on scoop yeaterday as well and I think I would rather do my supemarket shopping naked with a feather stuck up my bum than disclose where Im positioned statiscally in this survey. For me disclosure is potientially a ultimate lose/lose. I would have to get my lawyer to write me a rock solid disclaimer. You are one brave man Dave but that being said your letting kiwi male's down. Your supposed to take the truth double/triple it and add spin for flavour so that all that you make 64% kiwis feel like they are falling behind the average and you call yourself a kiwi. No beer for you this friday thats it! Your crap talking factor is falling way short of the mark. Oh boy !
    David Rubado - Friday, 11 November, 2005 8:40
  • Hi Crewcut. Even though I may fall behind on some of those measures, I'm way ahead on one of them. In fact I'm the envy of my peers with regard to that measure.
    Dave - Friday, 11 November, 2005 10:58
  • one has to ask why did gabba lock you out of the house??
    ma - Friday, 11 November, 2005 12:22
  • I arrived home early one day and she wasn't home already. And she had stolen the key for the house out of my car.
    Dave - Friday, 11 November, 2005 12:33
  • oh, I thought you might have been doing what she does when you lock her out.
    Ma - Friday, 11 November, 2005 16:59
  • Cool pic Dad!!!!!!!
    Sarah cooper - Saturday, 12 November, 2005 18:38
    Sarah - Monday, 14 November, 2005 17:46
  • test comment
    Dave - Friday, 18 November, 2005 10:39

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