How to not get killed on the roads

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NIKON D70 - 1/500 sec, f4 at 50mm

I like to offer self help advice every now and then. It's my way of contributing to the world. So here is something that will help you in your every day life.

Someone once told me to drive as if it was you coming in the other direction. In other words, drive unto others as you would have them drive unto you. Which is not to say drive into them of course. Screw that though. I have a much better bit of advice for staying alive on the road.

Avoid people that smoke! Clearly, if a person smokes cigarettes then they are of such a low level of intellect that they can't possible be smart enough to be properly in control of a motor vehicle. I always get concerned on the motorway (freeway) when I see a dick smoking and driving a car at the same time. I always very carefully negotiate my way around them. Stupid dicks.

I remember someone else telling me to be careful around blue rinses behind the wheel, or people wearing hats. I'm not sure about the blue rinse bit, but the hat advice is correct. On Saturday arvo while dropping the mother-in-law off at the airport, there was a couple of cars playing silly buggers on the Northern Motorway. A WRX was tootling along at 85km/h in the fast lane and a couple of tattooed brothers in a Commodore didn't like it, so they passed him and then slowed down to 50km/h right in front of him (and us). So what did the "hat wearing backwards dick" in the WRX do? He drove down the hard shoulder on the right through the grass and gravel trying to pass them out where there wasn't a lane.

When all the commotion was over and we passed the dick in the WRX, he was smoking. Yep, too stupid to be on the road.

Tonight's photo ends my "Bootlid (Trunklid) Series" from when Gabba locked me out of the house.

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Posted: Monday, 14 November, 2005 19:05

Captured: 2005:11:14 16:27:49

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  • I am looking forward to the "on the bonnet series as in "Semi-naked chick spawled over..." like those tasteful Lamborghini shots from the 80's. Btw, what happened to the "man robs service station with a hoe" blog? Surely he was a commodore driving, backwards hat wearing, smoking freak.
    RikiJ - Tuesday, 15 November, 2005 8:13
  • RikiJ I hope you never smoked while driving or Dave won't be your friend anymore! Cause you do wear hats!
    Moz - Tuesday, 15 November, 2005 9:24
  • Mo, It's not just while they are driving. It's anytime. Think about it for a minute. Smoking is drawing smoke down into your lungs! That stuff will kill you. How stupid do you have to be to do that? I make special dispensations though for friends that smoke. They have redeeming features. However, I hate everyone else that smokes. Stupid dicks!
    Dave - Tuesday, 15 November, 2005 9:27
  • He even used to let me smoke in the Mega-Yellow Corolla.
    RikiJ - Tuesday, 15 November, 2005 10:07
  • With your head out the window though!
    Dave - Tuesday, 15 November, 2005 10:09
  • The word you guys are groping for is the Pirelli that is class! Dave......Gabby is up with calendars at the moment....strike while the iron is hot.
    Michele - Tuesday, 15 November, 2005 14:26
  • Happy Birthday Dave!
    Mo - Wednesday, 16 November, 2005 8:29
  • Mo, it's not until tomorrow. But thanks anyway! At least you remember mine. I have no clue when your birthday is!!
    Dave - Wednesday, 16 November, 2005 8:31
  • Doh yes it is tomorrow! My birthday is easy - its 4567 ( 4/5/67) though now I've given ny age away!
    Mo - Wednesday, 16 November, 2005 9:34
  • Stop spamming!
    Dave - Wednesday, 16 November, 2005 14:51
  • anough of the "KILLING" part Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sarah - Wednesday, 16 November, 2005 16:49

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